


almost, maine

by yerimvevo



Category: LOONA (Korea Band), NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), SF9 (Band), Stray Kids (Band), TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Fluff, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Symbolism, ex joygi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2019-11-18 09:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18117647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerimvevo/pseuds/yerimvevo
Summary: welcome to almost, maine, a place that’s so far north, it’s almost not in the united states. it’s almost in canada. and it’s not quite a town, because its residents never got around to getting organized. so it almost doesn’t exist. one cold, clear, winter night, as the northern lights hover in the star-filled sky above, the residents of almost, maine, find themselves falling in and out of love in unexpected and hilarious ways. knees are bruised. hearts are broken. but the bruises heal, and the hearts mend―almost―in this delightful midwinter night’s dream.





	1. his heart

Wen Junhui’s standing in an open field in Almost, Maine, looking up at the sky. He’s clutching a small brown paper bag to his chest. From quite a distance, there’s a door opening and closing. Minghao comes outside wearing a big, warm coat over plaid pajamas and untied sneakers. He watches Junhui for a good, long while as he tries to figure out what he’s doing and how he might start a conversation.

“Hello.” Junhui turns to the other boy. “Hello.” He resumes looking up at the sky. “I thought I saw someone. I was about to go to bed. I saw you from my window...Can I help you? Is there something I can do for you?” Junhui turns to the man. “Oh, no. I’m just here to see the northern lights.” He resumes looking up at the sky.

Minghao takes this in. “Okay. Okay. It’s just―it’s awfully late and you’re in my yard.” “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was in anybody’s yard.” “Well, you are, but it’s okay―” “I thought I was just in a random field.” “Well, it used to be a potato field, but now it’s my yard.” 

“Oh. Well, you have a really big yard.” “I guess.” There’s a pause before the older says something. “Well, I hope you don’t mind that I’m here. I’ll only be here tonight. I’ll see them tonight―the northern lights―and then I’ll be gone. I hope you don’t mind!”

Minghao looks out. “Is that your tent?” The tent is somewhere in front of the two of them. “Yes.” “You’ve pitched a tent…” “So I have a place to sleep,” “in my yard…” “after I see them―I didn’t know I was in somebody’s yard―I hope you don’t mind.”

“Well, it’s not that I mind―” “Do you mind?” “Well, I don’t know if I mind, exactly―” “Oh, no, I think you mind!” “No, it’s not that I mind―” “No, you do! Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t think you would! I didn’t think―. You see, it says in your brochure” “My brochure?”

“that people from Maine wouldn’t mind. It says” Junhui brings out a brochure about Maine tourism. “that people from Maine are different, that they live life 'the way life should be.' And that, 'in the tradition of their brethren in rural northern climes', like Scandinavia, they’ll let people who are complete strangers―like cross-country skiers and bikers and hikers―camp out in their yard, if they need to, for nothing., They’ll just let you., I’m a hiker. Is it true?”

“Well, I guess, but―” “That they’ll just let you stay in their yards if you need to? ‘Cause I need to. Camp out. ‘Cause I’m where I need to be. This is the farthest I’ve ever traveled: I’m from a part of the country that’s a little closer to things―I’ve never been this far north before, or east, and did you know that Maine is the only state in the country that’s attached to only one other state?!?”

“Um―” “It is!!” Junhui takes in the big sky and all the wide open space. “Feels like the end of the world, and here I am at the end of the world, and I have nowhere to go, so I was counting on staying here―unless it’s not true, I mean, is it true?”

“Well I don’t know―” “Would you let a hiker who was where he needed to be just camp out in your yard for free?” “Well I don’t know―” “Really really needed to?” “Well, if a person really needed to, sure, but―”

Junhui rushes and hugs the man. “Oh, I’m so glad, then!! Thank you!!” As Junhui hugs Minghao, the brown paper bag he has been holding gets squished between their bodies. Junhui is surprised by all of the feelings he is suddenly feeling for Minghao. Minghao doesn’t quite participate in the hug, but is surprised by all the feelings he is suddenly feeling for the man. Junhui realizes that he doesn’t know Minghao well enough to be hugging him. Or to be feeling so many feelings for him. Overwhelmed, he releases the man from the hug.

“Oh―sorry about that.” He faces Minghao, who is now holding Junhui’s bag. The exchange of the bag is almost imperceptible to both Junhui and Minghao. Junhui doesn’t know that Minghao now has the bag. Minghao doesn’t really know he has it either. 

“Sorry.” “It’s okay.” “I just―really need to be here and do this, so thanks.” Junhui resumes looking intently for the northern lights. “Sure.” There’s a pause. “So you’re just here to see the northern lights, huh?” Junhui suddenly realizes that he doesn’t have his bag. “Oh, no!” He looks around for his bag.

“What?” Junhui sees that Minghao has his bag and points to it. “Oh, God! I need that!” Minghao realizes he has the bag. “Oh. Here.” He offers the bag to Junhui. Junhui grabs the bag. “Thank you.” He resumes looking up at the sky.

“Sure.” Minghao is puzzled. “Okay. Okay…” The man thinks. “So you’re just looking for a place to see the northern lights from?” “Yeah, just tonight.” “Well, you know, you might not see them tonight, ‘cause you never really know if you’re gonna see them―” 

“Oh, no! I’ll see them. Because this is the right time: Solar activity is at eleven-year peak. And I’m in a good place: Your latitude is good. Well, as good as it can be, under the circumstances. I was gonna go to a higher latitude―like, up to Canada somewhere―but I forgot to renew my passport, so I couldn’t, and Alaska is just too far away, so this was the closest place I could get to in the lower forty-eight states that sees the northern lights regularly, so I flew, and I took a bus, and then I hiked to get here, so, anyway, everything’s in order. And, boy, you have a good sky for seeing them. It’s so big! And dark!” 

Junhui takes in the sky. “And it’s flat here. No trees in the way.” “Used to be a potato farm.” “Oh. Makes for a big sky.” “Yeah.” They look at Northern Maine’s magnificent night sky. “So―you’re a farmer?”

“No. Used to be a farm. I’m a repairman.” “Oh.” “Fix things.” “Oh.” Junhui says again, laughing. “What?” “You’re not a lobster man.” “No.” “I guess I thought that everyone from Maine was a lobster man and talked in that funny...way like they do in Maine, and you don’t talk that way.” 

“Nope. You’re not Downeast. You’re up north. And this is how we talk up north, pretty much.” “Oh.” “No real accent up here.” “Oh.” “Plus, the ocean’s a couple hundred miles away.” Minghao says wryly. “Be an awful long ride to work if I was a ‘lobster man.’”

Junhui enjoys him. “Yeah. Well, anyways, thank you. Thank you for letting me stay and do what I need to do. It’s important that I do it, and―…” He’s sad. “I’ve had a pretty rough go of things lately, and I just really appreciate your kindness and understanding―”

Suddenly, Minghao, who is feeling lots of feelings for this man, is hugging Junhui. Junhui doesn’t hug him back, but feels a lot of feelings for Minghao. After a pause, Minghao pulls away, because he realized that what he just did was a bit forward.

“Oh, gosh―I’m sorry.” “Um…” Minghao and Junhui face one another. They are stunned. Each is captivated by the other. But they’re more scared than happy. The bag has imperceptibly exchanged clutches again―Minghao now has it, but doesn’t know he has it.

“Are you okay?” “Yeah.” “I’m really sorry I did that. It’s just―you just seemed sad.” “Um―” “And also: I think I love you.” “Huh?” Junhui says, astonished. “Yeah―I saw you from my window, and...I love you.” 

“Um―okay―well...that’s really nice of you to say, but that’s not what I’m here for―...I’m so sorry, but I’m not here for that.” “Oh, no, I didn’t think you were.” “I’m here to pay my respects. To my husband.”

“Oh, no.” “Yeah: My _husband_. Jisoo. I’m here to say goodbye to him because he died recently.” “Oh, jeez.” “Yeah. On Tuesday, actually. And, see, the northern lights―did you know this?―the northern lights are really the torches that the recently departed carry with them so they can find their way home, to heaven, and, see, it takes a soul three days to make its way home, to heaven, and this is Friday, this is the third day, so, you see, I _will_ see them, because they’re _him_ : He’ll be carrying one of the torches. And, see, I didn’t leave well with him, so I was just hoping I could come here and say goodbye to him―but what you just did there just a second ago―that’s going to get in the way of me saying goodbye to him, I think―or something―and, so, I think maybe I should go to find another yard―”

He packs up his map and his backpack and prepares to go. “No! No!” “Yeah―” “I’m sorry I did that―I don’t really know what happened.” “Well, _I_ do, I know what happened.” “I’m not the kind of person that usually does things like that. Please. Don’t go. Just―do what you need to do and I won’t bother you. Maybe just...consider what I did a-a-a-a...a warm Maine welcome. Or something.”

There’s a pause. If any other guy said something like that, it’d be creepy. “Um―you know what? I’m just gonna get outta your way and let you do what you need to do.” He starts backing away, true to his word. “All right?” Junhui trusts this guy for some reason. And decides to stay in his yard and do what he needs to do.

“All right.” “All right.” “Thanks.” “Sure. Sorry about...all that.” “It’s...okay.” Minghao turns and starts to go, he stops. “And if you need anything, just give a holler, okay?” “Okay.” Junhui watches Minghao turn and go back to his house. And realizes he doesn’t want him to go. “Hey!” 

Minghao stops and turns to Junhui. “Thanks for letting me stay. I really appreciate it.” “Sure.” “Um―I’m Junhui―my name’s Junhui. Just so you know.” “Okay. Hi, Junhui.” “Hi.” “I’m Hao.” “Huh?”

“My name’s Hao.” He’s used to explaining. “For Minghao. It’s the name of the town―a little ways that way” He points towards the east. “―where I was born. There was a Mess-up on the birth certificate…’a son, _Minghao_ , born on the seventh day of November, 1997, in the town of Matthew, Maine’...instead of the other way around... “ 

Junhui’s amused and sad for the guy. “Oh.” “Yeah.” “Well, happy birthday a few weeks late.” “Thanks.” “So...Minghao.” He’s referring to the place. “Yeah―” “Yeah!” He gets his map out. “I passed through near there on my way here, and, by the way, where is ‘here’? Where am I? I couldn’t find it on my map.”

“Um...Almost.” “What?” “You’re in unorganized territory. Township Thirteens, Range Seven.” Junhui checks his map. “It’s not gonna be on your map, ‘cause it’s not an actual town, technically.” “What do you mean―”

“See, to be a town, you gotta get organized. And we never got around to getting organized, so...we’re just Almost.” “Oh…” “Okay, well, like I said, holler if you need anything.” He heads back to his house.

“Okay. Thanks.” Junhui is charmed by this guy somehow. And then suddenly he realized he’s missing his bag. He was clutching it to his chest, and now it’s gone. This upsets him so much that it affects his breathing.

“Oh! Oh, God!” Minghao stops. “What? What’s wrong?” Junhui’s having trouble breathing. “My heart!” “What? Are you okay?” “My heart!” Seeing that Minghao has his bag, he points to it, almost hyperventilating. 

“What?” “You have my heart!” “I what?” “In that bag!, It’s in that bag!” “Oh.” “Please give it back!, Please! It’s my heart!, I need it!, Please!” “Okay, okay, okay.” He gives Junhui the bag. “Thank you.” 

When Junhui gets the bag back, his breathing normalizes. “You’re welcome.” Minghao considers what he has just heard. “I’m sorry, did you just say that...your heart is in that bag?, Is that what you just said, that your heart―…?”

“Yes.” “It’s heavy.” “I guess.” “Why is it in that bag?” “It’s how I carry it around.” “Why?” “It’s broken.” “What happened?” “Jisoo broke it.” “Your husband?” “Yeah. He went away.” “Oh.” “With someone else.” “Oh, no. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. And when he did that. I felt like my heart would break. And that’s exactly what happened. It broke: hardened up and cracked into two. Hurt so bad, I had to go to the hospital, and when I got there, they told me they were gonna have to take it out. And when they took it out, they dropped it on the floor, and it broke into nineteen pieces. Slate.”

He gently shakes the bag, it makes a great sound when shaken. “It turned to slate.” He looks back up at the sky. Minghao takes this in. After some time, he responds to what Junhui had just told him the only way he knows how. “Great for roofing.”

Junhui looks at Minghao, doesn’t respond to what he just said, and then looks back up at the sky. Minghao doesn’t know what to do, so he starts to head back to his house, but stops after a few steps and asks: “How do you breathe?”

“Huh?―Oh―” “If your heart is in that bag, how are you alive?” ”Artificial.” Junhui indicates to the heart that’s now on his chest. “Really.” “Yeah. ‘Cause my real one’s broken. And there’s always a shortage of real hearts for transplants, so I got an artificial one…” 

“Oh.” “So...Why do you still have this one?” He refers to the brown paper bag. “It’s my heart.” “Well, why do you carry it around with you like this?” “Well, I don’t usually―but, since it’s the one that loved Jisoo, I figured I might want it with me when I say goodbye to him or something―I don’t know―”

“But it’s broken.” “Yeah, I don’t really wanna talk about it―” “‘Cause of him.” “Yeah, I really don’t wanna get into it―” “Why are you paying your respects to him if he left you?” “Because that’s what you do when a person dies, you pay them respects.” 

“But he _left_ you,” “Yeah, but―” “and it seems to me that a man who leaves somebody doesn’t deserve any respects.” “Well, I just didn’t leave things well with him,” Junhui says, deflecting. “What do you mean?―”

“and...and I need to apologize to him.” “But he _left_ you!” “I know, but―” “Why should you apologize?” “Because!” “Because why?!?” “Because I killed him!!” Everything stops. And gets really quiet. Minghao backs away from Junhui. “Oh…” 

“And I’d like to apologize. See, I was over a year into my recovery from when they put my artificial heart in―I was all better, doing almost all the things I used to be able to do―and then Jisoo just shows up at my place one day and says he wants me back. And I said, ‘Jisoo, I have a new heart now. I’m sorry. It doesn’t want _you_ back.” And that just killed him.”

“Oh. But it didn’t kill him― _you_ didn’t _kill_ him―” Minghao says, greatly relieved. “Well, yeah, I did, kinda, because he got so sad that my new heart didn’t want him back that he just tore outta there and ran out and into the street, and a bus was coming, and it didn’t see him, and he didn’t see _it_ , and it just...took him right out, and if I’d have been able to take him back,”

“Junhui―” Junhui is starting to get upset. “he wouldn’t have torn outta there like that” “Hey―” “and been just taken out like that, and so, I just wanted to say goodbye in my own way―not as his sad ex-husband at some big public service―but just privately you know?, And―and―and―”

Suddenly, Minghao comforts him with another hug. Junhui melts into the hug for a moment before suddenly pulling away. When he does, Minghao has his heart again. The strangers stand face to face. Then Junhui suddenly kisses Minghao. And just as suddenly pulls away.

“Oh, God―I’m sorry.” “Don’t be.” “I’m so sorry I did that.” “Don’t be! I love you!” “What? No! That’s impossible!” “Yeah!” Junhui realized Minghao has his heart again and grabs it back. “Well, don’t!” “Why?” “Because I won’t be able to love you back: I have a heart that can pump my blood and that’s all. The one that does the other stuff is broken. It doesn’t work anymore―”

Minghao suddenly kisses Junhui. Junhui fully participates and then pulls away. Minghao has his heart again. Junhui grabs it back. Minghao grabs it right back. “Let me have this.” Junhui tries to get his heart back. “No! It’s mine!”

Minghao is thwarting at all of Junhui’s attempts at getting his heart back. This is a game of keep-away. “I can fix it!” “What? No!” “Junhui―!” “Give it back to me now!” “But, it’s broken.” “Please!” 

“It’s no good like this.” “But, it’s my heart!” “Yes, it is! And _I_ have it!” This stops Junhui. “And I can fix it.” “I’m a repairman. I repair things. It’s what I do.” Then he crouches, gently places the bag on the ground, and starts to open it in order to examine its contents. As he opens the bag and the northern lights appear―in front of Junhui, above Junhui, on the field of stars behind Junhui. Junhui sees them...and they’re a thing of wonder.

“Oh! Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, they’re so beautiful…” He remembers who they are and calls up to the sky. “Oh! Oh!―Jisoo!! Jisoo!! Goodbye!! I’m so sorry!! ...Goodbye, Jisoo!” And the northern lights―and Jisoo―are gone. Junhui turns to Minghao, who has taken a little piece of his heart out of the bag and is examining it. He watches Minghao. And thinks about how strange it is that this guy’s name is Minghao. It should be more surreal to her than happy. The happiness will come later.

For now, he just says: “Hello...Hao.” Minghao looks at Junhui...and then he takes out more pieces of his heart so he can begin repairing it.


	2. sad and glad

Park Sooyoung sits alone at a table in a back corner of Almost Maine’s local hangout, the Moose Paddy. She’s wearing a light blue long-sleeved shirt tucked into a pair of jeans. Kang Seulgi is coming from the ladies’ room, cheerily heading back to her friends who are up front. She passes Sooyoung. Sooyoung sees Seulgi and calls to her, stopping her.

“Seulgi!” “Hm?” This is a bit awkward―awful, actually. Seulgi suddenly smiles and tries to make the best of the awfulness. “Sooyoung!” Sooyoung’s a little too excited. “Hey!” “Hey!” “Hey!!” “Hey!!” Sooyoung bear hugs Seulgi. Seulgi doesn’t really take the hug or hug her back.

“Heyyyy!!!” They say at the same time. “How you doing?!?” “Doing pretty good! How are you doing?!?” “I’m doing good, doing good! How are you doing?!?” “I’m good, doing good, great! How are you?” “Great, great! How are _are_ ya?” “Great, great!” “Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah!” “That’s great!” “Yeah.” “You look great.” “Thanks.” “You do. You look so great.” “Thanks, Sooyoung.” “So pretty. So pretty.” “Thanks.” There’s an awful, uncomfortable silence. Then, a little too cheerfully Sooyoung says, “Here, have a seat!”

“Oh, Sooyoung, I can’t―” “Aw, come on, I haven’t seen you in...well, _months_.” “Yeah―” “And months and months and months and months and months and months and _months_ , how does that happen? Live in the same town as someone and never see them?”

“I don’t know.” “I mean, I haven’t seen you since that night before that morning when I woke up and you were just gone.” “Yeah, I, uh...―” The waitress blasts in. She’s in constant motion and disappears as quickly as she appears. 

“Look at you two, tucked away in the corner over here! Lucky I found ya! Is the woman and her lovely lady ready for another round?” “Sure, we’ll have a couple of beers.” “No! We’re not together.” “Well we used to be―”

“We’re all set, thanks.” “Well don’t you want a drink?―” “All set!” “Okay―yeah, we’re good.” “Okay.” The waitress takes in the weird dynamic, then starts to go. “Well, holler if you need anything.” 

“Thanks.” The waitress stops. “No really―you gotta holler. It’s busy up front!” And then she’s leaving. “Okay.” Both Sooyoung and Seulgi say to the waitress. “Okay!” She says on her way out. “So, um...you here with anybody, or―?”

“Yeah―um...the girls.” “Oh.” “We’re uh―… Girls’ night! We’re in the front.” She starts to go. “Actually, I just had to use the ladies’ room, so I should get back to them.” Sooyoung stops her. “Aw, but I haven’t seen you! They’ll survive without you for a minute or two! So, what’s been―here―” Sooyoung offers her a seat. “―what’s been going on, whatcha been up to?”

Seulgi gives in, sitting down. “Well―” “Did you know that I took over my dad’s business?” “Yeah, that’s great!” “I run it now!” “I heard that.” “I’m running it!” “Heard that.” “Running the business!” “Congratula” “Running the whole show,” “tions!, Good for you!, Good for you.” 

“the whole shebang―thanks―yeah. We still do heating and cooling,” “Yeah?” “and we’ve expanded, too: We do rugs now. We shampoo them.” “Oh.” “It’s a lot of work. A lot of work. I’m on call a lot: weekends, holidays, you name it, ‘cause, you know, your heat goes, people die, it’s serious.”

“Yeah.” “Yeah. Like, I do Thanksgiving, Christmas, ‘cause I let the guys who work for me, like, Minghao helps with repairs sometimes, I let them have the day off so they can be with their families since I’m all alone this year.”

“Oh.” “Yeah.” Sooyoung drives the point home. “I really don’t have anybody anymore, really. My brother and sister got canned, so they left town.” “Right…” “And Mom and Dad retired, headed south.” “Yeah, I heard that.”

“Vermont.” “Oh.” “Yeah, winters there are a lot easier. And then―I don’t know if you heard, but...then Spot went and died on me.” “Oh, Sooyoung, I didn’t know that!” “Yeah. He was old, it was his time. He was a good fish, though.”

Sooyoung is seriously sad about Spot; trying to recover. “But, so, like I said, I really don’t have anybody anymore, really...but, so, um, I was wondering―would you like to come over? It’d be fun! Catch up, hang out…?”

“Oh, Sooyoung I really can’t.” The waitress blasts in. “And I forgot to tell you―don’t forget: Friday night special at the Moose Paddy: Drink free if you’re sad. So, if you’re sad, or if you two lovebirds are ready for another couple of beers or something, you just let me know, all right?”

“No, we’re not together―” “Okay!” “Okay!” And she’s gone. “Okay…” Seulgi says helplessly. “So whatta you say? Wanna come on over, for fun?” “No, Sooyoung. I can’t. I can’t.” Seulgi gets up to leave. “I really gotta get back with the girls.”

“Nah―” “Yeah, Sooyoung, yeah. I gotta. ‘Cause see...oh, gosh, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while: There’s a guy, Sooyoung. I’ve got a guy.” Seulgi says forceful, but kind. This is a huge blow to Sooyoung. But she’s tough.

“Oh.” “Yeah.” “Well...good for you. Getting yourself out there again.” “Yeah.” “Moving on.” “Yeah, well, actually, Sooyoung, it’s more than me just getting myself out there and moving on. Um...this is my...bachelorette party.” 

“I’m getting married.” This is a huger blow to Sooyoung. “Oh.” “Wow.” “Yeah.” “Wow, that’s―…” She’s devastated. “I thought you said you weren’t gonna do that. Get married. Thought it wasn’t for you, you told me.”

“Guess it just wasn’t for you with me.” “So, who’s the lucky guy?” “Jeon Wonwoo. You know him? The forest ranger―” “Yeah, the ranger guy, over in Ashland!” “Yeah!” “Wow!” “Yeah!” “He’s a legend! Legendary. I mean, if you’re lost on a mountain in Maine, he’s the guy you want looking for you!”

“Yeah.” “And he...found you.” “Yeah. I’m sorry I never told you―I actually thought you would’ve known, I thought you would’ve heard.” “How would I have heard?” “Well, you know...people talk.” 

“Not about things they know you don’t wanna hear, they don’t. And I gotta be honest with you: That’s not something I would’ve wanted to hear. So...when’s the big event?” “Um...tomorrow!” “Really.” “Yup!” “Well then…”

Sooyoung downs her beer and then raises her arm to wave down the waitress. As she does, her sleeve slides up her arm a little. She shouts to the waitress. “HEY!” Seulgi doesn’t want the girls―or anyone―to see her with Sooyoung.

“What are you doing?” Sooyoung goes towards the front―where the waitress has exited and where the bachelorette party is. “Getting our waitress―she said holler.” She starts calling to the waitress. “HEY!” To Seulgi she says, “What’s her name?”

“I don’t know, she’s new here.” She once again says to the waitress. “HEY!” “What are you doing?” Seulgi says, not wanting to draw attention. “We gotta celebrate! You got found! And you deserve it! He’s quite a guy!” 

“Aw, Sooyoung.” “And so are you. I mean―you’re quite a girl―woman―person.” Sooyoung says, completely sincere. “Sooyoung…” Seulgi’s moved by her kindness. There’s a pause as Seulgi and Sooyoung face one another. Sooyoung faces what she lost. Seulgi faces the girl she unceremoniously dumped. Then, Sooyoung raises her arm again and yells to the waitress. 

“HEY!” Seulgi’s trying to stop Sooyoung from drawing attention to them. “Sooyoung!” Then, she notices a black marking on the inside of Sooyoung’s forearm. “Sooyoung!―whoa―hey! What’s that?” 

“What?” “That!” Seulgi refers to the black marking on her arm. Sooyoung covers the mark. “Oh. nothing―tattoo―” Sooyoung uses her other arm to wave down the waitress. “HEY!” “What?!?” “Tattoo.” 

“What―when did you get that?” Seulgi says, intrigued. “Um… After you left.” Seulgi goes for Sooyoung’s arm. “Sooyoung! Well―what’s it of, what’s it say?” “Nothing, nothing,” Seulgi grabs her arm. “N-n-no!” Seulgi pushes up Sooyoung’s sleeve, and takes a beat as she reads, on the inside of her forearm, in big, bold letters: “Seungwan.’” 

“Seungwan.” “Who’s Seungwan?” “Seungkwan. It’s supposed to say, ‘Seungkwan.’” “What?” “It’s supposed to say ‘Seungkwan’, it’s the name of a villain character in one of my favorite comics.” 

“Well, it doesn’t say, “Seungkwan.” It says, “Seungwan.” “I know, I spelled it wrong―” “What?!?” “― _they_ spelled it wrong. It says, ‘Seungwan’, but it’s supposed to say, ‘Seungkwan.’” 

“Well, why is it supposed to say, ‘Seungkwan’? Why would you want a tattoo of a villain character’s name?” “‘Cause…” “‘Cause why?” “Just ‘cause.” “Just ‘cause _why_?” “Just ‘cause...when a girl’s got a girl like you..well, I just think that losing a girl like you, driving a girl like you away…”

“Sooyoung, you didn’t drive me away―” “is just plain criminal. It’s _criminal_. It’s villainy! And it should be _punished_! So I punished myself, I marked myself a villain so girls would stay away so I’d never have to go through what I went through again with you, again―can I kiss you?”

“No.” Sooyoung tries to kiss Seulgi. Seulgi stops her. “Hey! I said no.” “Sorry.” “You can get that undone, you know.” Seulgi says kindly, referring to Sooyoung’s tattoo. “Yeah.” “I gotta head.” Seulgi leaves.

“Yeah.” Then, stopping Seulgi: “Hey, I’m―…” Seulgi stops and turns to Sooyoung. “I’m glad you got found.” “Thanks, Sooyoung.” Seulgi goes back to her bachelorette party―and is welcomed back heartily. Sooyoung hears this. She is alone, sad, and stuck there.

The waitress blasts in. “Hey! Sorry! You were waving me down. I saw you, but it’s so busy in the front! There’s this bachelorette party: those _girls_! Good thing it’s not, “Drink free if you’re _glad_ ,” ‘cause those girls are wicked _glad_. Gosh―I had to fight my way through to find you, but I did it! I found you! So: What’d you need, what can I do you for? Another beer?” 

“Um, I’m okay, I’m good, thanks…” She’s sad, looking off to where Seulgi went. The waitress takes in Sooyoung’s sadness, she looks to where Seulgi went, then sees the empty chair. She looks back off to where Seulgi went...and puts the pieces together.

“Oh, pal… Um… Um… Well, remember, like I said, Moose Paddy special: Drinks are free if you’re sad. Okay? Just tell me you’re sad, and you’ll drink free. Just say the word. Let me know. ‘Cause I know from sad, and you’re looking pretty sad.”

No response from Sooyoung. She’s just sad. “Okay. Well, my name’s Seungwan, if you need anything.” She leaves. After a small beat of silence, the waitress’ name registers. Sooyoung calls to her: “ _Seungwan!?!_ ”

“Yeah?” Seungwan says, stopping. “Hi.” “Hi!” “I’m not sad. I just would like another beer.” “All right!” She leaves. “Seungwan!!!” Sooyoung says, making sure her name is actually Seungwan. “Yeah?!?” Seungwan stops again. “I’m glad you found me.”

“Aw…” She leaves. “‘I’m glad you found me,’ that’s adorable…” Seungwan says to herself. Sooyoung is dumbfounded. She deals with her tattooed forearm in some way. The northern lights appear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the real story, the guy gets a tattoo that's supposed to be villain, but is mistakenly spelled like 'villian' - i wanted wenjoy tho so i made seungkwan up so they could wrongly spell it like seungwan, if that makes sense


	3. this hurts

Minatozaki Sana is finishing up ironing a man’s work shirt in the laundry room of Ma Dudley’s Boarding House in Almost, Maine. Hirai Momo is sitting on a bench reading from a notebook labeled ‘Things That Can Hurt You.’ Sana looks at the shirt she has been ironing and suddenly crumples it and throws it into her laundry basket. She picks up the iron and wraps the cord around it, preparing to put it away. As she does so, she burns herself on it.

“Ow! Dammit!” Momo takes note of this, produces a pencil, and writes “iron” in her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book. Meanwhile, Sana has put the iron back where it belongs. She then goes to the ironing board, folds it up, and turns to put it back where it belongs―which is next to where the iron lives.

As she turns, she accidentally hits Momo in the head with the flat face of the ironing board, knocking her off the bench. “Oh, no! I’m sorry! Oh...I didn’t see you! Are you okay?!?” “Yeah.” Momo says, unfazed.

“No you’re not!! I smashed you with the ironing board! I wasn’t even looking! Are you hurt?” “No.” Momo says, calmly re situating herself on the bench. “Oh, you must be!! I just _smashed_ you! Where did I get you?”

“In the head.” “In the head?!? Oh,” Sana goes to her. “come here! Are you okay?” “Is there any blood?” “No.” “Any discoloration?” “No.” “Then I’m okay.” “Well, I’m gonna go get you some ice.” 

“No. I can’t feel things like that.” “Like what?” “Like when I get smashed in the head with an ironing board. I don’t get hurt.” “What?” “I can’t feel pain.” “Oh, God, what the hell have I done to you?” “Nothing.”

"You’re talking loopy! Listen to you, going on about not being able to feel pain! That’s delusional! I’ve knocked the sense right out of you!” “No, I’m okay.” “Shh! Listen: I was gonna be a nurse, so I know: You’re hurt. You just took a good shot right to the head and that’s serious.”

“No, it’s not serious. I don’t think an ironing board could really hurt your head, ‘cause, see,” Momo says, forcing her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book on her. “Ironing boards aren’t on my list of things that can hurt you.” “What is this―?” Sana says, dealing with the book. 

“plus, there’s no blood or discoloration from where I got hit, so I’m okay…” “Well, you can be hurt and not be bleeding or bruised.” “And, plus, my list is pretty reliable, ‘cause my brother Yuta is helping me make it, and I can prove it to you: See, I bet if I took this ironing board,” 

She gets the ironing board. “like this, and hit you with it, that it wouldn’t hurt you.” She smashes Sana in the head with the flat face of the ironing board. “See? That didn’t hurt.” “Ow!!” Sana says, scrambling away from Momo.

“Oh!” “Ow! What the hell was that?! Why did you do that?” “Oh! I’m sorry! Did that hurt?” “God!” “Oh, it did, didn’t it?” “Ow!” “Oh, I didn’t think it would, ‘cause, see, ironing boards are not on my list of things that can hurt you, but, gosh, maybe they should be on my list, because―” 

“What are you talking about?” “I have a list of things that can hurt you―my brother Yuta is helping me make it―and ironing boards aren’t on it.” “Well, that ironing board hurt me.” “Yeah.” 

“So you should add it to your list.” “Yeah.” She adds ‘ironing boards’ to her ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book, thinks, and then picks up a book labeled ‘Things To Be Afraid Of.’ “Should I be _afraid_ of ironing boards?” “Well, if someone swings it at your head and hits you with it, yes.”

“Well, it’s not on this list―...I have a list of things to be afraid of, too, and ironing boards are not on this list either.” “Well they shouldn't be, really.” “No?” “No, you shouldn’t be _afraid_ of ironing boards.” “No?” “No.” “But they can _hurt_ you.” 

“Yeah.” “So I should be _afraid_ of them.” “No.” “So I _shouldn’t_ be afraid of them?” “Right.” “But they can _hurt_ me.” “Well, if they’re used the way you used it, yeah.” “Oh-oh-oh! So, they’re kind of like the opposite of God!”

“What?” “Well, ironing boards can _hurt_ me, but I shouldn’t be _afraid_ of them, but God, my brother Yuta says, God _won’t_ hurt me, but I should _fear_ him.” “I guess.” “Boy, this is getting very complicated.” 

“What is?” “The business of learning what hurts, what doesn’t hurt, what to be afraid of, what not to be afraid of.” “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re just going on and on about crazy stuff―” “Oh, yeah, yeah, see I have congenital analgesia, he thinks. Some people―”

“What?” “Congenital analgesia.” “Who thinks?” “My brother Yuta. Some people call it congenital insensitivity to pain, but...it all just means I can’t feel pain. You can hit me if you want to, see!”

“No.” “Go ahead. It won’t hurt, see?” She hits her head with the book. “Ow!” “See?” She hits her head again. “Ow!” “Go ahead.” She offers her the ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book so she can hit her with it.

“No!” “Come on!” “No!!” “Come on!!” “No!!!” “Okay. You don’t have to. Most people don’t. Hit me. Most people just go away. You can go away, too, if you want to. That’s what most people do when I tell them about myself. My brother Yuta says I shouldn’t tell people about myself, because I scare them, so I’ve recently put ‘myself’ on my list of things to be afraid of, see?”

She looks for ‘herself’ in her ‘Things To Be Afraid Of’ book. “But I’m not sure he knows I did that―” Her curiosity gets the better of her, Sana has come up from behind Momo and suddenly hits her on the back of the head with the ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book. 

“Oh, my gosh! I’m sorry! Oh, my gosh! I just clocked you!” “You hit me! Most people go away, but you hit me!” “I had to _see_ if it would really hurt you! But―are you okay?” “Yeah, I don’t feel pain!” “...Don’t feel pain, right, of course you’re okay! But―are you sure?”

“Well, is there any blood?” “No.” “Any discoloration?” “No.” “Then I’m okay.” “Well, buddy, you can be hurt and not even look like it.” “But―” “Trust me. There are things that make you bruised and bloody, and there are things that hurt you that don’t make you bruised and bloody and...they all hurt.” 

She gives Momo back the ‘Things That Can Hurt You’ book. “I’m―my name’s Sana.” “Hi, Sana. I’m Momo.” “Hi, Momo. I just moved in, so I don’t know many people here. What room are you in?” “Room 3, second floor.” 

“Oh. We’re on the third floor. Room 7.” “Yeah, right above us. We saw you and your husband move in.” “Oh, he’s not my husband. He’s just my boyfriend. Seokwoo.” “Oh.” “Yeah, our roof collapsed from all the snow in December. We’re just here till we can get our feet back on the ground.” 

“Oh. Well, that’s good, ‘cause that’s what Ma Dudley says her boarding house is. A place where people can live until they get their feet back on the ground. My brother Yuta says we’ve been trying to get out feet back on the ground our whole lives.”

“Oh.” “Yeah, it takes some people longer to do that than others.” “Yeah.” Sana goes to get her stuff together so she can go. “You guys are loud.” “Huh?” “You and Seokwoo. You yell and bang. We’re right below you.” 

“Oh. Sorry about that. We’re going through a rough patch. Happens. Sorry.” Sana starts to gather her stuff to go, but then stops. “What’s it like?” “What’s what like?” “To not feel pain.” “I don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like to hurt, so...I don’t know.”

“Is this...how you were born?” “Yeah. I don’t have fully developed pain sensors. They’re immature, my brother Yuta says, and because they’re immature―” “How does he know that?” “Oh, he _reads_ ,” “But―” 

“and because they’re immature, my development as a human being has been retarded, he says,” “But―” “but he teaches me what hurts though.” “Why??” “So I won’t ruin myself. I have to know what hurts, so I know when to be afraid. See, my mind can’t tell me when to be afraid, ‘cause my body doesn’t know what being hurt is, so I have to memorize what might hurt.” 

“Okay. Makes sense.” “And I memorize what to be afraid of.” Momo shows Sana items in her ‘Things To Be Afraid Of’ book. “Things like bears. And...guns and knives. And fire. And fear―I should fear fear itself. And pretty girls.”

“Pretty girls?” Momo realizes Sana is pretty. “Yeah.” “Why should you be afraid of pretty girls?” “Well, ‘cause my brother Yuta says they can hurt you, ‘cause they make you love them.” “What?!?” 

“And that’s something I’m supposed to be afraid of, too―love―but Yuta says that I’m really lucky, ‘cause I’ll probably never have to deal with love, because I have a lot of deficiencies and not very many capacities as a result of the congenital analgesia.”

“Wait, what do you mean you’re never gonna have to deal with love, why―” “‘Cause I’m never gonna know what it feels like, Yuta says.” “Well, how does he know that?” “‘Cause it hurts.” “It shouldn’t.” “And, plus, I have a lot of deficiencies and not very many capacities.” 

“You know what, a lot of people do.” And suddenly Sana is kissing Momo. At first it’s just her kissing her, but, eventually, Momo participates. When she does, Sana breaks away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Are you all right? Are you okay?” 

Momo doesn’t quite know how to respond. She hasn’t learned about this. Then, maybe feeling her lips, and resorting to her usual way of answering this question: “Well...is there any blood?” “No.” “Any discoloration?” “No.” “Then I’m all right. I think.” “Yeah. You are.”

“I’m so sorry I did that. It’s just―...You’re just...very sweet.” Momo tries to make sense of what just happened. “But...you have a boyfriend.” Sana begins gathering her stuff. “Yes, I do.” “Seokwoo.” “Yes―” “And you’re his girlfriend, right?” 

“Yup.” “And if you’re his girlfriend and he’s your boyfriend, you must love each other, right?” “Yeah, we do, very much.” “But―you just kissed _me_.” “Yup, I did.” “And it’s Friday night, and you’re doing your laundry.” 

“Yup, I am.” “And people who love each other, they don’t kiss other people and do their laundry on Friday nights, I’ve learned that. People who love each other, they go to the Moose Paddy on Friday nights, or they go dancing together, or they go skating. And they kiss each other. They don’t kiss other people―you know what? I think maybe you and your boyfriend don’t actually love each other.”

“You know what?” Sana says, preparing to leave. “I’ve been down here longer than I said I would be, and he doesn’t like that.” “Who?” “My boyfriend.” “Who you love.” “Yes.” “Very much.” “Yes.” “Even though you kissed me.” “Yes.” 

“Wow, I’m going to have to talk to my brother Yuta about this!” “No! Don’t talk to your brother Yuta about this! Tell him to stop teaching you.” “Tell him to stop teaching me...What?” “Whatever he’s teaching you. Tell him to stop. What he’s teaching you...isn’t something you wanna know.”

“But I have to learn from him!” “Look: I was gonna be a nurse, so I know: You need to go to a doctor and not have your brother read whatever it is he reads.” “But I have to learn from him―” “You know what? I gotta go.” 

Momo sits down on the bench. “Right. You gotta go. You’re―you’re leaving. I knew you would. That’s what people do.” “No, I just have to―. I told you, Seokwoo doesn’t like it if―.” “Your boyfriend?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like it if I’m down here longer than I said I’d be, and I’ve been down here longer than I said I’d be.” Sana picks up the ironing board. As she goes to put it away, she accidentally swings it around and hits Momo in the head, just as she did before. Momo gets knocked off the bench.”

“Ow!” “Oh! I’m sorry!” “Ow!” “I’m so sorry! Are you alright? I can’t believe I just did that to you again!” “Ow!!” Sana goes to help Momo, but stops short. “Wait―: What did you just say?” As Momo rubs her head, she realizes what she just said. She looks at Sana, and tells her plainly: “Ow.” 

The northern lights appear. Sana and Momo just look at each other, utterly unsure of what has happened or of what will happen.


	4. getting it back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the 'i want it back' and the 'that is not all the love i gave you' gets repetitive

Yoo Taeyang is asleep in his chair. Before he fell asleep, he was watching his favorite cartoon, Spongebob on the television. Kim Youngkyun is pounding on his door. 

“Taeyang!” The door Youngkyun has been pounding on opens and slams shut. “Taeyang!” Youngkyun barges in. Taeyang is startled awake, but he’s groggy. “Huh?” “Taeyang!!” Youngkyun grabs the remote, turns off the TV, and chucks the remote at Taeyang to help him wake up.

“Hey! I need to talk to you!” “Okay.” Taeyang says, trying to be alert. “What’s up? You okay? I thought you weren’t coming over tonight ‘cause of Wonwoo’s bachelor party thing.” “Taeyang:” Youngkyun paces and seethes. It’s clear he has something to say. But can’t quite say it yet. 

Taeyang is now up and out of the chair, concerned. He goes to Youngkyun. “Hey―you okay?” Youngkyun shuts Taeyang up and stops him from approaching him. “Shhh!” He stills himself. “Taeyang:” He steels himself. “I want it back.”

“What are you talking about? Huh?” “I want it back.” “What do you want back?” “All the love I gave you? I want it back.” “What?!?” Taeyang says, trying to understand what Youngkyun is talking about.

“ _Now_.” “I don’t understand―...I don’t understand.” “I’ve got yours in the car.” “What???” Taeyang says, completely confused. “All the love you gave to me? I’ve got it in the car.” “What are you talking about?”

“Um, I really don’t understand what you’re talking about―” Taeyang says, completely bewildered. “It’s in the car.” “You said.” Taeyang is completely baffled. “I can get it _for_ you, or... _you_ can get it.” Youngkyun says, frustrated that Taeyang isn’t doing what he’s asked him to do.

“Well, I don’t want it back.” “Well, _I_ don't want it! What am I supposed to do with all of it, now that I don’t want it?” “Well, I don’t know!” “Well, under the circumstances, it doesn’t seem right for me to keep it, so I’m gonna give it back.” Youngkyun leaves.

“Under what circumstances?” Taeyang calls to him. “Youngkyun, what are you talking about―? I don’t understand what you’re talking about―… What are you doing?” “I told you. I’m getting all the love you gave to me, and I’m giving it back to you.” 

“Well, I’m not sure I want it―whoa! Need help?” Taeyang calls to him. “Nope. I got it. It’s not heavy.” He returns with an enormous bunch of HUGE bags full of love. He dumps the bags on the floor. “Here you go.” 

“And this is…?” Taeyang asks, truly puzzled, referring to the bags of love. “All the love you gave me, yeah.” He leaves again. “Wow. That’s a lot.” Youngkyun returns with more bags of love. “Yeah.” He leaves to get more love. “Whole lot.”

“Yeah.” He returns with even more bags of love. There is now an ENORMOUS pile of love in Taeyang’s living room. “Wow. What the heck am I gonna do with all this? I mean...I don’t know if I have room.” 

“Well, I guess you’ll have to find a place for it, won’t you?” Youngkyun says, upset. They look at all the love. Taeyang collects himself. “And now, I think it’s only fair for you to give me mine back because...I want it back. All the love I gave to you?” 

“Yeah?” “I want it back. So go get it.” Taeyang doesn’t move, because he’s trying to figure out what’s happening and why it’s happening. “Taeyang, go get it.” Youngkyun grows impatient. “Please.” Taeyang still doesn’t move. “ _Now!!!_ ”

“Okay.” Taeyang says, shaken and completely at a loss as to what to do. He leaves. Youngkyun sits in the chair and waits. He’s upset. Eventually, Taeyang returns...with a teeny-tiny little bag―a little red pouch―and places it on an end table next to the chair. They look at the little bag, which is between the two of them. 

Youngkyun’s between the many bags of love and the little bag of love. “What is that?” It’s obvious to Youngkyun―it’s exactly what he asked for. “It’s all the love you gave me.” “That’s not all the love I gave you―…? That is _not_ all the love I gave you―. There’s no way that’s all the love I gave you―… That is _not_ all the love gave you―.” Youngkyun says, mortified.

“Is that all I gave you?” “Yeah.” “Oh.” Youngkyun takes in the little bag...and then all the big bags. “Okay.” “Why don’t you open it, and see what’s inside―?” Youngkyun starts crying. Taeyang goes to comfort him. “Hey, hey―what’s going on?”

Youngkyun resists and rejects Taeyang’s comfort. “I told you: We’re done.” “Why do you keep saying that?” “Because―.” This is hard to say, but it has to be said. “Because when I asked you if you ever thought we were gonna get married―remember when I asked you that?” 

Taeyang remembers, but doesn’t want to, because he got scared and quiet when he brought up the subject of marriage. “In December? ...It was snowing?” “Yeah.” “Yeah, well, when I asked you... _that_ , you got so... _quiet_. And everybody said that that right there should’ve told me everything.”

“Everybody who?” “Everybody!” “ _Who?_ ” “...Sana said―” “ _Sana?!?_ ” “Yes, Sana―” “Sana said that, like she’s an expert?” “Yes, Sana said that how quiet you got was all I needed to know, and she’s right. You don’t love me.”

“What―? Youngkyun, no! That’s not true!!” “Shh! And I’ve been trying to fix that, I’ve tried to _make_ you love me by giving you every bit of love I had, and now...I don’t have any love for _me_ left, and that’s...that’s not good for a person...and...that’s why I want all the love I gave you back, because I wanna bring it with me.”

“Where are you going?” “I need to get away from things.” “What―? What things?!? There aren’t any things in this town to get away from!” “Yes there are: You!” “Me?” 

“Yes. _You_ are the things in this town I need to get away from because I have to think and start over, and so: All the love I gave to you? I want it back. In case I need it. Because I can’t very well go around giving _your_ love―’cause that’s all I have right now, is the love _you_ gave _me_ ―I can’t very well go around giving _your_ love to other guys, ‘cause that just doesn’t seem right―”

“Other _guys_? There are other guys?!?” “No, not yet, but I’m assuming there will be.” “Youngkyun―” “Shhh!!! So I think―. I think that, since I know now that you’re not ready to do what comes next for people who have been together for quite a long time like, get married, I think we’re gonna be done,”

“Why? Youngkyun―!” “and so, I think the best thing we can do, now, is just return the love we gave each other, and call it…” He takes in the bags―the pathetic one that contains the love he gave him and the awesome several that contain the love he gave him. “...even.”

It’s not ‘even’ at all. “Oh, is that really all the love I gave you, Taeyang? I mean, I thought I gave you way more than that―. I mean, what kind of person am I if this is all the love I gave you―...No...n-n-no!” Youngkyun says, fiercely. “I _know_ I gave you more than that, Taeyang, I _know_ it!”

He thinks; collects himself; then, new attack: “Did you lose it?” “What?!? No, Youngkyun! No!” “Did you _lose_ it, Taeyang?!? ‘Cause I know I gave you more than that, and I think you’re pulling something on me, and this is not a good time to be pulling something on me!” 

“I’m not. Pulling something on you. I wouldn’t do that to you...Just―I think―...Gosh―…” What he says next is not mean; he’s simply at a loss. “I think maybe you should just take what you came for, and I guess I’ll see you later.” This is pretty final. He leaves into the rest of the house.

Youngkyun is at a loss. “Taeyang―wait. Taeyang…” But this is what he wants. He looks at the little bag, takes it, and is about to leave. But curiosity stops him. He opens the bag and examines what’s inside. 

“Taeyang―what is this? I don’t understand―...This isn’t all the love I gave you―...Taeyang: What is this?” Youngkyun shouts. “It’s a ring, Youngkyun.” The older shouts back. He comes back into the living room. “What?”

“It’s a ring.” “What? Well―” He takes what’s in the bag out of the bag. “This isn’t all the love I gave you―. This is _not_ all the love I gave you―…” He realizes it’s a box that an engagement ring comes in.

“Oh, Taeyang, this is a ring. Is this a... _ring_? A ring that you give to someone you’ve been with for quite a long time when you want to let them know that you’re ready for what comes next for people who have been together for quite a long time?”

“Yup.” “Oh.” But...all the love I gave to you? Where is it?” “It’s right there, Youngkyun.” Taeyang says, referring to the ring. “But that can’t be all―” “It’s right there.” “But there’s no way that’s all of it―” 

“It _is! That’s it! Right there! There was so much of it―you gave so much over the years―.” “ _Eleven_.” Youngkyun says, making sure he understands just how many years it’s been. “―over the eleven years―” _

_“ _Eleven_ , yeah!” “―yeah, you gave me so much of it that I didn’t know what to do with it all. I had to put some in the garage, some in the shed. And after you asked me if I ever thought we were gonna get married, there was more of it than ever coming in, and I asked my dad if he had any suggestions what to do with it all, and he said, ‘You got a ring, yet?’ And I said, ‘No.’ And he said, ‘Get him one. It’s time. When there’s that much of that stuff coming in, that’s about the only place you can put it. He said it’d all fit in the ring. And he was right. That thing is a lot bigger than it looks. So...there it is. All the love you gave me. Just not in the same...form as when you gave it.”_

_“Yeah.” “You still want it back?” “Yes. I do.” “Well, then...take it.” He starts to open the box, but stops and refers to all the bags of love. “Can I keep all that?” “It’s yours.” “Thank you.” He looks at the ring box and is about to open it. But stops. “Taeyang, you didn’t have to get me a ring. That’s not what I was asking.”_

_“Yes, I did. It’s way past time. And it’s honorable.” He opens the box. “Well...it’s very beautiful.” Taeyang takes the ring out of the box, gets down on one knee, and puts the ring on Youngkyun’s finger. “Oh, Taeyang―...I’m so sorry. It’s just―I was at Wonwoo’s bachelor party,”_

_“I know…” “and he and Seulgi are already getting married _already_ , and that got me thinking about us,” “Shh.” “and then I was talking to Sana, and she said that how quiet you got was a red flag―” “Shh.”_

_He quiets him with a kiss. And then hugs him. The northern lights appear. How will these two ever recount the story of how they got engaged? That’ll be tricky. But that’s a problem for another time. For now, things are okay, Youngkyun and Taeyang―two people in love and in a little pain―hugging it out underneath a big, spectacular, starlit northern night sky. Maybe Youngkyun can’t help but take a good look at that ring._


	5. they fell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end is a little annoying and repetitive sorry..

Jinsol and Jungeun are hanging out in a potato field in Almost, Maine. They’re drinking some beers. “I believe you, Sol, I’m just saying―” “It was bad, Lip. Bad.” “I hear you, but―” “But you’re not _listening_ , Jungeun: It was bad!”

“No, _you’re_ not listening, ‘cause” “Real bad, _historical_ -bad!” “I’m trying to tell you that I had a pretty bad time _myself_!!!!” Jungeun says, topping Jinsol. Jinsol takes this in; then says, “No. There’s no way!―”

“It was pretty bad, Jinsol.” “Really.” “Yeah.” “Okay: go. Let’s hear it.” This is a little painful. “He―… He said he didn’t like the way I smelled.” “What?!?” “Minhyuk told me he didn’t like the way I smelled. Never has.” 

Jinsol takes this in. “ _Park_ Minhyuk told you that he didn’t like the way you smelled―…?” “Yeah.” “When?” “When he picked me up. I got in his car―we were backing up out of my driveway―and all of a sudden, he starts breathing hard―hyper-hyper-” Jungeun searches for, but can’t find ‘ventilating.’ “breathing―”

Jinsol finds the word Jungeun can’t. “-ventilating.” “-ventilating, yeah, and he stops and he gets out of the car and says he’s sorry, but he can’t go out with me ‘cause he doesn’t like the way I smell, never has!”

“What, never has? When has he smelled you before?” “I don’t know, _around_ town or whatever?” “Well, jeez!” “Anyway, he said he thought he was gonna be able to overlook it―the way that I smelled―but that wasn’t gonna be possible after all, because he couldn’t breathe, something about allergic,”

“Allergic?” “and he said it wasn’t _me_ ―it wasn’t _me_!―it was something about ‘the women’ and ‘the lengths’ we go to―” “What? ‘The women’?!?” “Yeah, and ‘the lengths’ we go to to smell nice,” “‘The _lengths’_ we go to smell nice―?!?” 

“and he said that whatever it is I use to smell nice just doesn’t smell nice to him―” “Oh! Like, _perfume_!” “Yeah―just doesn’t smell very nice to him, no offense, and he slammed the door on me and left me sitting right there in my driveway. In his car.” 

“‘Cause he didn’t like the way you smelled?!?” Jinsol says, taking this in. “Yeah.” “Wait, you don’t even use any kind of perfume, do you?” “No! No!” “Well, what the―? I don’t mind the way you smell.” 

“Thanks.” “Matter of fact, I think you smell great.” “Thanks.” “Anyway, he said he’d come back and pick his car up tomorrow and would I mind please rolling down the windows for him to air it out overnight.”

“What? There’s nothing to air _out_!” “I know!” “Minhyuk has issues!” “Yeah.” Suddenly Jinsol starts to leave, with purpose. “What are you doing?” “Doing something to his car.” “Sol!” “We’re doing something to his truck.” Jinsol says, grabbing Jungeun.

“Sol―” “You’re too nice! Time to get mean! We’re doing something to his truck!” “Sol!” “We _are_!” “We’re not doing anything to his truck! Relax!” “Jerk. He should be lucky, getting to go out with you.”

“Nah.” “Yeah!” “Anyway: Pretty bad, huh?” “Yeah. And a little sad, too.” “Yeah. So, I’m guessing that I’m the big winner tonight, huh? And so I get to pick tomorrow, and I pick bowling. We’ll go bowling, have dinner at the Snowmobile Club, couple of beers at the Moose Paddy, hang out.”

“I didn’t say you’re the big winner.” “What?” “Did I say you’re the big winner?” “No, but there’s no way you can beat being told you smell bad―” “No. All that’s pretty sad, Lip, and bad, but you didn’t win.”

“What do you mean?” “You didn’t win.” “You can beat being told that you smelled bad?” “Yeah.” “Really.” “Yeah.” “Well, then: Let’s hear it.” She gives Jinsol the floor. “Mine’s face broke.” Jungeun takes this in. “What?” 

“His face broke.” “His face broke―…?” Jungeun says, trying to comprehend. “Face broke, yeah. Told you it was bad.” “How did his...face break?” “When we were dancing.” “ _Dancing?_ Lee Jihoon took you dancing?!?!”

 

“Yeah.” “Down to the Rec Center?!?” “Yeah.” “Oh, that’s nice! That’s nice!” “Yeah.” “What a good guy!” “Yeah.” “I wouldn’t have expected that from him! Wish someone would take me dancing! Must’ve been so fun!”

“Yeah, it was. ‘Til his face broke.” “What happened?” “Well, we did that thing they have where you pay, you get a lesson, and then you dance all night. They teach ‘together dancing,’ how to dance together.” 

“Aww, that’s nice! That’s fun!” “Yeah, and we learned that thing where you throw the girl up and over and...well, Jihoon was having a hard time figuring out the move―how to do it―and it’s so _easy_ ―and so I thought maybe it’d help him get his part if―once though―we switched, and I did his part, and he did mine...and well, Jihoon’s not a very big guy. I mean, he’s little. Little, little man.” 

“He is, isn’t he?” “Yeah. Never realized it before. He sounds taller on the phone.” “He does!” “Yeah, so―anyway―we _switched_ so I could show him how to do his part...and, well, I’m pretty strong, and...he’s just _small_ ―”

“He really _is_ , isn’t he?” “Yeah―and I threw him up and over...and, well, I threw him _over_...over. And...he landed on his face. And it broke. Ocular―orbital―bone fracture.” “Oh.” “Had to take him to the emergency room.” 

There’s a long pause, then, finally: “That’s a drive.” “Thirty-eight miles.” “Yup.” “And he _cried_.” Jinsol says, disgusted. “Oh, no...” “The whole way. Asked me to call his mom to come get him.” “Seriously?!?” “Yeah. And she did. Asked me to ‘please leave.’”

“Aw, Sol, I’m sorry!” “It’s all right. He was a lousy dancer.” “Most of them are.” “Yeah.” They laugh at the ridiculousness of Jinsol’s evening. Jinsol falls into sadness. Jungeun laughs. “What?” “That’s just―pretty bad.” 

“Yup.” “And sad.” “Yup. So...I’m guessing I win!” “Oh―yeah―no question, no question! That right there might make you the big winner of all time!” “Yup!” “‘Baddest-date-girl’ of all time!” “Yup!” “Congratulations!” 

“Thank you!” “So what do you pick tomorrow?” “Bowling, dinner at Snowmobile Club, couple of beers at Moose Paddy, hang out.” “Sounds good.” Sadness. Jungeun laughs. “What?” “Oh, Sol, I don’t know. Just sometimes...I don’t know _why_ I bother going ‘out.’ I mean―I know why―it’s cause you gotta go out, but I’m scared ‘cause I’ve been going out and nothing’s coming of it, you know? And I feel like I’m running out of chances,”

“Don’t say that, don’t say that―” “and lately I’ve been wondering why I even have to bother... _going_ out. I mean―I don’t like it, Jinsol. I hate it. I hate going out on these dates. I mean, why do I wanna spend my Friday night hanging out with some guy I might maybe like, when I could be spending it hanging out with someone I know I like, like you, you know?” 

“Yeah.” “I mean...that was rough tonight. In the middle of Minhyuk telling me how he didn’t like the way I smelled―I mean, he doesn’t smell all that great!” “Not many of them do!” “Yeah! And, well―anyway―I got so sad.”

“Aw, but it wasn’t you, it wasn’t you!” “I know, I know, but after he said _that_ that I smelled bad, all I could think about was how not much in this world makes me feel good lately or makes much sense anymore, and I got really scared, Sol, ‘cause there’s gotta be something―at this stage of the game―there’s gotta be something that makes you feel good or at least makes sense in this world, or what’s the point, right?” 

“Yeah…” “But then I kinda came out of feeling sad, and I actually felt okay, ‘cause I realized that there _is_ something at this stage of the game―there is one thing in this world―that makes me feel really good and that does make sense, and it’s you, it’s always been you.”

Jungeun is a bit surprised―and mortified―by the string of words that just came tumbling out of her mouth. “Huh?” Jinsol says, trying to figure out if she heard what she thought she just heard. “Nothing.” Jungeun says, trying to cover.

But it’s too late. Everything has stopped. Jungeun isn’t quite sure what she has just said. Jinsol isn’t quite sure what she has just heard. Long, long silence of these women sorting out what Jungeun just said and Jinsol just heard.

“Okay, well, I should get going home, Lip. The fish get lonely lately.” Jinsol says, extricating herself from an extremely awkward and strange and uncomfortable situation. She starts to leave. “Yeah… Well, I’m only going into work early tomorrow. Just got some maintenance issues to resolve. I bet I’ll be done before noon, so I can pick you up...lunchtime?”

“Yeah―no―I don’t think I wanna do much of anything tomorrow―” “Oh! They got the craft fair going at church, maybe we could hit that before bowling.” “Oh, I don’t know, ‘cause, you know what? I kinda forgot, Lip: I’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“Well―” “I gotta be up at 6am to open the salon: We’re doing Kang Seulgi’s wedding tomorrow, I’m doing the bride’s hair and the bridesmaids’ hair and the moms’ hair and all the makeup and the nails, and I might not be up for anything afterwards―”

“Well, I’ll come get you whenever you’re done, like we planned―” “Mmm...probably gonna be busy all day. We might have to do touch-ups for the wedding pictures, I don’t know when we’ll be done, you know?” 

“Well, we could skip bowling and just do dinner at the Snowmobile Club.” “And I’m gonna be really exhausted, so, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know so―” “Well, I’ll be ready whenever you want me to come pick you up―”

“Hey-hey, Lip: Maybe we should just give it a couple days and see when we both have the time, and we’ll make a plan, okay?” “Well, the craft fair’s only this weekend, so―” “Yeah, you know what? You know what? You know what, Lip? I’m gonna head. Okay?” 

“Okay.” “Okay?” Jinsol asks, making sure and insisting that everything’s okay. “Okay.” “Okay!” Jinsol says, making like everything’s okay. “Okay!” “Bye!” Jinsol says, leaving. “Bye!” Jungeun watches Jinsol go. Then: “Hey, Jinsol!”

Jinsol stops, turns to Jungeun, and when her eyes meet Jungeun’s, Jungeun suddenly falls down. She crumbles to the ground. Love is often described, after all, as making people weak in the knees. 

“Whoa!” Jinsol says, rushing back, taking a moment to try to figure out how Jungeun ended up on the ground. “Lip, hey! What happened―? You okay?” “Yeah no.” “What the―… Here.” She helps Jungeun up.

“Thanks. Um―” “What was that? You okay? What just happened there?” “Umm...I just fell.” Jungeun says, trying to figure out what’s going on. “Well, I know, I saw.” “No it’s more than I just fell―… I just fell in love with you―.”

“I think I just fell in love with you, there, Jinsol.” Her eyes meet Jinsol’s as she says this, and she crumbles to the ground again. “Jungeun!” “Oh, boy…” “Yup.” Jungeun says, on the ground, face-planted. She gets up. “That’s what that was. Me falling in love with you…”

As she gets up, her eyes meet Jinsol’s again, and she crumbles to the ground again. “Jungeun: What are you doing? Come on, get up!” Jinsol helps Jungeun up. “No-no-no, Jinsol, I’m just gonna fall down again―”

Her eyes meet Jinsol’s again, and she falls to the ground again. “Would you cut that out?!?” “Well, I can’t help it!! It just kinda came over me!! I’ve fallen in love with you, Sol!” Jinsol takes this in. Confusion. Fear. A long pause. Then:

“Jungeun: I’m your best friend in the whole world...and I don’t quite know what you’re doing or what you’re going on about...but―what are you talking about?!? What are you _saying_? Lip: You’re my best friend.” Jinsol says, angry. “Yeah―”

“and that’s―...I love that! But―I don’t understand why you just said what you just said―. I mean―yeah, it’s true: You’re about the only thing that feels really good and makes sense in this world to me, too. You keep me from feeling like I’m gonna become that crazy cat lady―but now, what you’ve _done_ fallen down and what you’ve said that you’ve fallen in love with me, well, it makes me feel for sure like I’m gonna become that crazy cat lady ‘cause me-and-my-best-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world doesn’t make sense at all right now. And that doesn’t feel good. And I think I’m really mad at you! ‘Cause you can’t go back! Once it’s out there, you can’t take it back―something like that―and now it’s just hanging there, and what do you mean?!? We’re friends!” 

“Yeah…” “Best friends!” “Yeah!” “And there’s a line when you’re friends that you can’t cross! And you crossed it!” And then, Jinsol, far away from her, meets Jungeun’s eyes and falls down, crumbling to the ground.

Jinsol and Jungeun look at each other from the ground. A moment of realization. This is about as scary―and wonderful―as it gets. 

Problem: Jinsol and Jungeun are far away from each other, and all they want to do is get TO each other, so they stand up so they can make their way to one another. When they are upright, they look to one another, but as soon as their eyes meet, they fall to the ground again. After a little pause of utter confusion, they scramble to get up again and look to each other again, but as soon as their eyes meet, they fall again.

They desperately want to get each other, so―in a bit of a frenzy, to try to ‘best’ the falls―they get up, but as soon as their eyes meet, they fall down. After a little pause, they keep getting up, meeting eyes and falling down. Frustrated and bewildered, they get up and the same cycle repeats. 

Finally, the falling frenzy settles...and Jinsol and Jungeun are no closer to one another than they were when they started. They just look at each other. It’s all scary and thrilling and unknown. The northern lights appear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been two months but ive been so busy and i kinda forgot this existed.. but i wanted to finish since summer is gonna start soon and i'll have more free time and i miss pristin :(

**Author's Note:**

> this is not mine!! all i have changed are the characters. it is originally a script for a play that i was in. i just really wanted to see my favorite ships in situations like this


End file.
